Navigating life as a first time father (and beyond)
Wanting to be the best father and husband led me down a rabbit hole of books. Here’s a collection of books that I consider to be my blueprint for navigating life as a first time father (and beyond):
Value of time
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
Tradeoffs are inevitable as everything has an opportunity cost.
On average, human beings live 4,000 weeks. People continuously delay happiness for a future point in time, which results in a continuous state of unhappiness. Being productive doesn’t always mean prioritizing critical or urgent things. Being productive could also mean spending time on things that bring you joy. There isn’t a point in time where everything on our to-do list is marked as “done”. And learning to be more efficient doesn’t always mean you get more time back. The examples given were the microwave and airplanes. Think about the time those technologies save us. More often than not, we replace that time with impatience and more tasks.
The 4-Hour Workweek
As a remote employee, do the bare minimum. Pour your extra effort into creating your own business.
Parenting
Positive Discipline
The primary focus of solutions are helpfulness, and the primary focus of rules are mutual benefit. Rules and solutions are decided together and account for others who may be impacted.
Blame, shame, pain, humiliation, and unfair treatment are not used as motivators. Adults do not have to make children feel worse in order to get them to do better.
When adults use firmness with dignity and respect, children learn that their misbehavior does not achieve the result they expect, and they are motivated to change their behavior.
The Power of Showing Up
Resolve breakdowns as fast as possible. Mend relationships. Apologize.
Oh Crap! Potty Training
Potty train kids right before they turn 2. Sooner could be okay, but it may be frustrating if the child is not ready. Later is okay too, but it could be more difficult because the child has learned that their diaper is where pee and poop go.
Relationships in general
The Lost Art of Listening
Entrepreneurship
Ask Your Developer
As a developer, I am in a unique position to understand the pain points of both peers and customers. Solving problems with APIs is the path to disrupting an industry.